Cinematical

It really seemed like we were finally going to get Garth Ennis' Preacher this time -- the dark, funny, and controversial comic book series seemed perfect for HBO. Isn't that what they do, after all?

Apparently not. Mark Steven Johnson told Comics Continuum that they've passed on the series. "We were budgeting and everything and it was getting really close to going. But the new head of HBO felt it was just too dark and too violent and too controversial. Which, of course, is kind of the point! It was a very faithful adaptation of the first few books, nearly word for word. They offered me the chance to redevelop it but I refused. I've learned my lesson on that front and I won't do it again. So I'm afraid it's dead at HBO."

But, Johnson says that he's heard that someone is trying to obtain the rights for a big screen adaptation, and that he hopes it happens -- and that whoever nabs it can do the stories justice in a series of films. "Someone" doesn't narrow it down much, but shall we let our imaginations run wild? Frankly, in this world where the legendarily un-filmable (Lord of the Rings, Watchmen) is being made every day, I can't believe Preacher remains untouched. Isn't every studio dying for its own mature comic franchise? Isn't there a daring young filmmaker who's just dying to be boycotted, picketed, and harassed? Aren't we constantly hearing that all publicity, no matter how bad and hysterical, is desirable? Let's put it to the test. Whoever that "someone" is that's angling for the rights, may they succeed, and get Preacher on the big screen.

I'm not one of those waiting for Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen with a whole lot of anticipation. I feel bad about saying that, but let's face it, Transformers passed me right by as I was playing with Strawberry Shortcake. Many have tried to re-educate me on the awesomeness of Optimus Prime, and failed.

Nevertheless, even I have to admit it's pretty cool when a screenwriter drops in among their fans for a good sequel chat. That's what Robert Orci, one of the scriptwriters for Transformers 1 and 2, has done over at Transformer World 2005. The dedicated can sift through what is currently 82(!) pages of script Q&A, by the time you read this, it will probably be 182. Much of it is hints as to which robots might factor into the sequel -- including a tease that Arcee, the girl Transformer, might appear. On the other hand, he's careful to remind fans that anything you hear about the film is probably careful disinformation, but well meant. "It is fun to 'play' with fandom, not to toy with fandom -- I do not hand out disinformation."

But there's a few reliable sounding bits in here. According to Orci, the sequel will be more "global" in scale, and that there won't a lot of re-introductions. "The first movie is all about the mystery and reveal of the Transformers as a concept and a species, which means we had to hide them a lot in the first hour. In the second movie, now that everyone believes in the universe, we can jump right into the world of the Transformers." The movie will be firmly rooted in Transformers mythology, but will also maintain the "liberties" taken with it in the first film.

He insists they're listening to fan input, so anything you want to see, now's the time to demand it. I'm going to go ahead and demand Arcee, if only to ponder how Transformers can have gender, and whether she will be pink.

No, Twilight fans -- it's ok! This is good news and it isn't going to result in a delay of the movie. Summit wouldn't break your hearts like that. Even though the clock is ticking, the studio is taking a bit of time to smooth out the movie's kinks. According to MTV, they're going back and filming some extra scenes, months after principle photography wrapped -- a move planned long before Twilight snagged the vacant Harry Potter date.

It isn't because anyone's dissatisfied with the film -- the cast insists the opposite is true. "They liked it so much, they are bringing us back for some encore time - to beef it up," says Peter Facinelli, who you all know better as the vampire Carlisle Cullen. "A little salt and pepper." Taylor Lautner, the head of this whole "Team Jacob" thing, says that rehearsals for the new scenes were "a ton of fun" and that they're just to clarify a few plot points. "I know they've been showing it to some people, and some people go, 'I want to see a little more of this,' or, 'I don't quite understand this,' " he explained.

None of the cast members could reveal what the new scenes were, but you Twilight fans can probably guess from the hints, such as Facinelli's being a flashback. "It gives us a little bit of history of the Cullen family. They are just shooting a couple of different added scenes, and the scene I'm in, I can tell you it's me and Robert Pattinson ... Rosalie and Emmett are in that scene."

The ending is also being tweaked to include Lautner. "I am going to be in the prom scene now, at the very end of the film," he said. "At first we didn't film that, and now some people are saying they want to see a bit more of Jacob, and they want him in the prom scene at the end."

It drives me nuts not to know what any of this means, which means it's time to borrow the book from someone. In the meantime, Twilight fans, discuss these developments among yourselves.

Although we're chalking this up to the overeager and rarely reliable British press (England & Scotland, I love you, but your tabloids are crazy), it bears reporting anyway. According to The Telegraph, Cher is said to be in talks with Christopher Nolan to play Catwoman in the third Batman film.

Says some anonymous studio executive: "Cher is Nolan's first choice to play Catwoman. He wants to her to portray her like a vamp in her twilight years. The new Catwoman will be the absolute opposite of Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry's purring creations."

The same article also reports Johnny Depp as having signed to play the Riddler -- and we all know that isn't true. No one knows which villains will appear in the third film. Even Nolan's participation is still up in the air, despite all of this breathless casting speculation, fan art, and fierce "Will they work in Nolan's gritty real-world setting?" debate.

Now, don't get me wrong -- I actually love Cher and I think she could make a pretty cool Catwoman. But if Nolan does do a third film, and if he does include Catwoman, I want an actress that's closer in age to Christian Bale. I'm not trying to be ageist, it's more that I see Catwoman's career as being a parallel to Batman's, much like the Joker. I want that Batman: Year One story. But should they ever make The Dark Knight Returns (and there was much chatter after Comic Con that Frank Miller and Zack Snyder were at some kind of unofficial agreement on making it, so who knows), I nominate Cher to be the retired Selina Kyle. An older Catwoman deserves someone as awesome as Cher to play her -- not the broken down wreck she was in the book. What do you think, readers? Cher for Catwoman and Nolan, or do you prefer the Angelina Jolie fantasy casting?

The gang over at Collider got their hands on a new picture from Land of the Lost -- and as I'd like them to keep their scoop (particularly since the trades like ripping them off), you'll have to click on the bug-eyed lizard to see the whole photo. Devin Faraci has confirmed the photo is the real deal, and that it's the first look at Enik. If you adored the show (which I didn't, the Sleestaks scared the crap out of me), you might remember this kind fellow as the guard of a time portal. He's played by John Boylan, who's really quite handsome under that make-up.

Enik represents what the Sleestaks once were -- a proud civilization called the Altrusians, a race that could talk and wear clothes, and who eventually devolved into the mean and naked Sleestaks. (Humanity, take note.) I'm not sure how they managed to make Enik look friendlier and less soul-destroying than the other Sleestaks, but his black eyes don't scare me nearly as much.

Land of the Lost opens July 17th, 2009.